Instagram Launches Top Live Stories, and Coincidentally, the Ultimate Thirst Trap

Instagram Launches Top Live Stories, and Coincidentally, the Ultimate Thirst Trap

The thirst is very real.

Instagram Has a Thirst

For all those who live under a rock, Instagram rolled out Top Live Stories yesterday and they are taking the world by storm. Live stories. Like a live feed of what someone is doing right now! That’s insane. I wish some other company had thought of that before. What? They have? The fuck is Periscope?

Really I love that Facebook and Instagram’s newest idea is to just make the ultimate Swiss Army knife of apps. To sum up the strategy, they are becoming the Walmart of content. Oh you want disappearing stories? Aisle 5B. Live feeds? Right next to the 50 gallon tubs of lube in 10R. 150 character limit texts? We don’t carry that shit get out of here.

I actually have to thank Instagram. Live Stories can get straight up weird. In the top stories last night I saw, a Spanish speaking comedian dressed like a woman, a stripper in the locker room throwing some twerk ’round, and countless Instagram models cashing in on a new feature. I can’t knock the hustle because the game is the game (shoutout The Wire) and because I’m apart of it (shoutout me @GloriousUpgrades). What is the best is the desert of thirst that is on these live stories. I wish to god I had taken some screen shots because we had some shooters SHOOTING out there. Love the tenacity of us guys when it comes to any female. I think Ali Siddiq says it best here:

 

Straight up amazing how many guys just keep sending in the same “Show your boobs” about a million times. Just amazing. Just hoping that one time that wall is going to break down. Get just one titty out. We all know its not going to happen, but dammit do we dream. Maybe us guys are just optimists, maybe were just big dreamers, or maybe we just want to see a nipple. It’s probably the last one.

Tell you what would be scarier. If guys started saying put on more clothes. First off, saying put on more clothes to someone who for a living does not wear clothes is straight up mean. Also it is a level of mental warfare that guys normally don’t go to. That is something that will mess up a girl for weeks. I was going to say that should be the new trend but I don’t know if I want to be responsible for that inception style fuckery. It’s just too much.

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