Russia’s Real Life Grand Theft Auto

Russia’s Real Life Grand Theft Auto

Source (it wouldn’t let me post anything cuz of Putin)

Some say that the Russian’s have hacked the election. Some say that Putin now controls this country. Well all that pails in comparison to the Russian’s one upping us on TV. Listen, we can let the Ruskis have some things like vodka, our president, national security etc, etc. but we cannot lose on the TV front. We’re Hollywood baby. Now one one ups us in our own house. We’ve got Don Johnson, Jon Taffer, goddam Walter White swinging their big ol’balls around the scripted TV department, no doubt that we own that category. Fucking Breaking Bad is being remade by a Mexican network. Bank shot, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia has its own Russian counter part, It’s Always Sunny in Moscow.

I’m afraid the Russkis got us in the Reality TV department. Are you seated, good, I have to tell you a dirty little secret us people in Hollywood know about. Most Reality TV shows are scripted. I know, take a moment. Maybe get a quick wank in. Now if you want to do Reality TV right, we have to do what the Russians were doing in 1997. We have bait car, but that doesn’t do it. I get that rush of oh shit after that guy takes off. For some reason, in the back of my head, I still think he/she’s going to get away. Call it my one flaw. But this chase part, that is genius.

So here is my humble pitch. We have to turn this up to 11. In every big city we need one bar that stays open past closing time. The only condition is, you sign a waiver when you enter this bar. Said bar is pretty much a war zone. Anything goes for the next so and so hours. The primal madness that would ensue in this bar would be nothing short of the best ratings anyone would ever see. Now granted, the legal issues would shut this show down so fast it would make you blush. That’s where we go to the Uncut version. Release that after the lawsuit cools down. Sell it for a cool couple mill. I’m no accountant but I think they call that a longer term investment.

 

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